Every Fangirl's Dream

Everyone has hopes. They have passion, goals and most especially dreams which is either achievable or just for imagination. Fangirls also do. They believe, visualize and dream. In fact, almost all of them have common dream.

Daydreaming, always.

Most fangirls want to have a lot of money to be spent for official merchandise like official albums, concert tickets, fan meeting tickets and most especially plane ticket to Korea plus pocket money. Just like me, every fangirl really wants to have a collection of each one’s idols’ albums because it feels fulfilling in our part. Of course fangirls also wish to see their idols live through live concerts, music shows, and fan meet and greets or album signing, even just once in their lifetimes. Unfortunately, I haven’t achieved this dream yet and I’m really looking forward to save a lot in order to attend fandom events which are usually held in Manila.

Every fangirls wants this - KPOP MERCH COLLECTION

2NE1 Concert AOA Live

Fangirls also desire to go to Korea and meet their idols on streets, cafés, and shopping malls or even outside the company which the celebrities are under. Going to tourist spots in Korea where their idols usually film for variety shows is always part of every fangirl’s bucket list. They want to hang out with Korean people and make friends out of them.  They want to buy Korean-made products which certain kpop stars endorse. Most fangirls also want to have surgery and cash to spend on cosmetics just to look like Korean personalities.

Just like any other fangirls, I, too, daydreamed of the things previously mentioned. But the highest ambition of a fangirl is to be friends their idols by becoming an idol too. It means that most fangirls, including myself, aspire to be a kpop trainee and debut in korea as a kpop star.  It may be vague but fangirls do everything for them to be able to join open auditions/screenings and pass it to be promoted as a kpop trainee. 

KPOP STAR HUNT

Because of kpop influence, I once tried joining Kwin and Kim Entertainment Open Auditions with enjoyment and experience as my main purpose. I didn’t expect that I would be able to pass and proceed to the next levels because it was my first time and most people who auditioned are already having dancing and singing workshops compared to myself who was just a newbie in these fields. I’m thankful for that achievement tho, at least, it gave me another worth noting experience.  But, I would still choose to be successful in my studies first and have kpop as my secong priority –well, I guess it would be the right choice.

Kwin and Kim Open Auditions 2014 @Waterfromt Hotel, Lapu Lapu

 But the greatest and the most unreachable dream every fangirl has is of course marrying their idols or kpop groups' biases. Most fangirls, including me, are aware about this sad reality that they,  our idols, don't even know we exist. But still, many fangirls hope and wish every 11:11 on the clock that someday their idols will notice them because they don't have any other ideal guys besides those celebrities. But if they can't marry even one of their biases, they'd prefer to be in  a relationship with a fanboy.

Fangirls live in their own fantasy world that's why most of them daydream about relatively impossible things and imagine that it would come true just for them to feel satisfaction. This only proves that fangirls are not merely fans and followers but, are also great dreamers and believers.

Fangirl Problems 101

         Every action, every decision, and every move we take always have disadvantages. Many would see fangirls as easy-go-lucky people but the truth is that, they too, are having difficulties in their fangirling lifestyle. There are actually a lot of these problems that may arouse in the middle of your fangirl journey but what you are about to read are the most common problems every fangirl, including myself, experienced or now experiences.

        

       When start to like a certain kpop group or solo artist, you also begin to develop affection towards them to the point that you uncontrollably stalk and gather information about them often. You then become their avid supporter but sad to say, they don't even know you exist. That's the saddest part of being a fangirl, indeed.

      You want to go to their concerts and buy official albums and kpop merchandise so badly but then financial problems hinders that desire. Also, there are instances when your idols don't come to your country or place so the chance of meeting them live gets lesser and lesser. The alternative for this is live streaming but then internet is too slow too catch good signal and unfortunately, you have no cable connection to continue watching their performances. This is a very depressing reality for most kpop fangirls

 

      You smudge your monitor with disturbing finger prints whenever you see hot pictures of them. Keyboard smashing would usually follows. Your phone's or PC's memory is not enough to save all those gorgeous pictures, videos and downloaded variety shows of different kpop artists. You're profile picture or cover photos will always be beautiful pictures of those adept humans. Ipod and mp3 SD Cards are also not enough to save all your favorite kpop songs. 

     You try to focus on studying but still, you can't control yourself from opening YouTube or your personal video player and watch their interviews again and again instead of doing assignments first. People may find you weird and obsessed but you try to find defend yourself by coining it as dedicated and not crazy. You start to hate bashers and find new close friends from your kpop fandom family. These people who have the same interest as you basically becomes your fandom sisters whom you'll never get to meet.

      Your brain explodes when someone mentions about kpop or calls your idols' names even if it's not in reference to them. You tend to get excited whenever someone asks about your favorite song or music video. You can't understand and speak Korean language fluently but still likes watching korean dramas and kpop songs. People don't understand what are talking about (kpop related stuff) and your family often gets annoyed by you every time you use Korean expressions and plays kpop music aloud inside the house.

     You don't have time to go out and play because your gadgets plus wifi are already your playmates and your air-conditioned and food-filled room becomes your playground. You try to be happy whenever your idols be into relationships but somehow it hurts because in a way or another, you think that it could have been you.

     Because of watching kpop everyday, your standards for men tend to become higher and the only man whom you want to be your lifetime partner is your ultimate bias and not anyone else. There's a big possibility for you to remain single forever because of your intense crush on your idol which no human can equal. If you're a fanboy and married a fangirl, you are way too lucky for surpassing almost 200 hot korean boys in her life. 

     

     When you see your idols kiss or hold another girl's hand, your heart shrinks in envy and you tend to make that dying whale sound. You also daydreaming and imaginations of what will happen when you'll already meet them. You have a very special first kiss which a poster or the computer screen. Putting posters or standees in your room and hallucinating that they are real. 

Most fangirls' rooms looks like this

Day dreamers: can't wake
 up.

      All you ever want as birthday, Christmas or graduation gifts are albums and band merch. You always ask Santa to bring them to you during Christmas but sad to say, it's really impossible. When your non-kpoper friends as k you about them, you answer like you and your idols were long time bestfriends. You can relate every word you hear to KPOP -it's only in kpop where Big Bang is not just a theory, Red Velvet is not a piece of Cake, f(x) is not a math symbol, 2NE1 are not just number and letters and BTS doesn't mean "behind the scenes". Only kpopers can relate with these terms.

We, fangirls, have our own world

     There are also lots of challenges and thrills which every fangirls experiences, thus, all fangirls deserve respect and not criticism for acting eerie at times. Fangirls are unique type of persons having different field of interest. They all live in their fantasy world protected by their love for kpop. Even if complications may occur, fangirls are smart enough to act in a matured way find solutions to this as much as possible. 

     

        

Fangirling is my Job

       Each creature was created with a specific purpose. We are all destined to play different roles in this movie-like world. Some may act as doctors, teachers, business men, students, dependents, servants etc. but there's a distinct job that only a few dared and stayed faithful for years no matter what. That work is no other than "Fangirling". 

       Nobody ever said that fangirling was easy. It was not an always-happy work for it's sometimes stressful, painful yet exciting. Just like any other occupations, it requires lots of effort, patience, understanding and faithfulness. There's no application form needed; interest and will are enough.

     The weird thing about fangirling is that fangirls still do it even if it needs lots of energy and financial support without  receiving large amount of salary. The only things they get are satisfaction, fun, some disappointments, inspiration and mixed emotions. 

      Fangirls follow fansite masters',  kpop stars' and entertainment agencies' personal social media accounts like instagram, twitter and official pages in facebook to know the latest happenings. Fan site masters are the ones responsible for taking pictures and doing intense stalking to the personalities. They are also the ones sending most fan gifts to their idol's dormitories or during fan meetings.

CL official IG

Fansite Masters be like

       Usually famous fangirl spazzers and fansite masters sleep only 2-3 hours a day and stay up late at night just to get new updates and fresh informations which they would be disseminating to their followers through social media. Last summer, I tried that kind of spazzing using my role playing accounts in different social networking sites but unfortunately, I wasn't able to do it for a long time because I find it really tiresome. As a result, I received many complaints from my followers, so I decided to deactivate my spazzing accounts.

Famous Spazzers be like

      Normal fangirls stalk and follow dedicated spazzers online and through SMS in order to be updated as well. Every fangirl really allots time just to watch variety shows, music videos, live showcases, latest comebacks and debuts, reality shows and TV guesting of their idols. They also memorize the lyrics and study reading and writing Hangul in order to understand the songs.

     Fangirls usually spent almost half of the day just sitting in front of PCs or mobile phones just watching or all kpop related videos and articles. Most of time, fangirls make endless blogs, reviews and reaction videos of any newly released kpop song, albums and music videos. Fangirls also spend time watching korean dramas that features their favorite idols as story characters. 

    Part of the fangirling job to practice kpop dances by watching tutorials. Sometimes, fangirls also cover different kpop songs and upload it on YouTube or sound cloud. Fangirling means supporting so somehow, it becomes a responsibilty for fangirls to vote for idols through online and mobile votings during music showdowns in different music channels.

FANGIRL COVER GROUPS

VOTING POLLS

    Writing and reading fan fictions is also a common habit for fangirls. Organizing fandom meet ups, groups and celebrating kpop stars' birthdays or group anniversaries already became usual to them too. Memory storage became essential in fangirling. Fangirls' phones, PCs, tablets/Ipads are all full of Kpop music videos and more pictures of their idols than their own pictures. Ipods and mp3 players are mostly having kpop songs in  the playlist.

Fangirl-organized event

    Fangirls made official kgroups' shirts as their uniform for this job. At first, it's difficult to handle balance between studies and practical work but as time passes, everything will run smooth. I've doing fangirling job since last January and I find it really amazing. Instead of experiencing boredom, I can have another source of entertainment which is kpop. 

    Fangirling doesn't only require the "like" but most importantly your heart towards kpop. Kpop fandom will soon become your family once you start liking the genre, thus, fangirling is not only about enjoyment but most especially about the control of emotions and the connection between the fans and their idols.  It may have no salary but at least it makes us fangirls, happy and inspired in times when we feel down.

Fangirls Society

     A society is a group of people who share the same goal. Often, they also have common interest. Just like any other association, kpop fangirls also have their own circle termed as the "fandom society". They are usually grouped according to what fandom they belong e.g Armies (BTS fans), EXO-Ls (EXO fans), Sones (SNSD fans), Blackjacks (2NE1 fans), Beauty (BEAST fans) etc. I, myself belongs to a multi fandom society - army,exo-l, blackjack, bestfriend etc. 

group of fangirls gathered together

      Fangirls interact with their fellow fangirls and often make more close friends out of them. This is what kpop fans call as "fandom friendship or yeoseong danche (sisterhood)". Fans organize meet-ups, get togethers and celebrations for their idols' birthdays or group anniversaries. During the said events, fangirls really talk a lot with each other . They chit-chat about new updates or talk about the newly released kpop songs, albums, music videos and variety shows. Also, with the help of professional kfest organizers, they organize kpop singing and dancing events where fangirls can cover their favorite kpop single. Annual korean festivals are also being organized in every place which is usually held in malls. During kfests, the organizers really try their best to have a kpop group as a guest and perform live. 

       Those events are not only purposed for a mere competition but also a time wherein fangirls from different places can get to know and socialize with their fellow fangirls and fanboys as well. Through these kpop cover contests, the undercover talents of fangirls can be discovered too. All the events mentioned are not limited to talking because they also play games and do raffle draws in which the prizes are official merchandises like albums, posters, pins and shirts from korea.

       Fangirls really like taking pictures before, during and most especially after each gathering. They take groufies with their newly found friends and fellow fangirls. Every captured moments really has bright and cheerful atmosphere, that's why when they upload pictures on social networking sites, more people become interested and influenced to join the kpop fan club.

     Lately, I've participated in several fandom meet-ups, occasional gatherings and kpop cover contest events. Just 3 months ago, I, together with my college and high school kpop friends, joined EXO- Cebu's first anniversary celebration. It was an awesome experience and I'm so happy to meet and get to know a lot of EXO-Ls. The games were really fun and the organizers really did a good job. We also watched EXO's funny videos and all of us were bursting into laughter but after that, the video clip containing the compilation of Kris' (the member who left the group) moment with the members was shown.

     It was heart-breaking and most Kris biased fangirls cried. Then the raffle followed. I was lucky enough for I won EXO's official poster and signed photo card from Korea. I envy those who got the official albums, especially the XOXO album which has Kyungsoo's drawing on it. Anyway, that day really ended very well.

EXO-Cebu Anniversary

     I also went to the Kookie Monster party of the ARMY family. That was the celebration of Jungkook's and Namjoon's birthdays last September. Then to the Cebu Kpop Star (Sing and Dance Kpop Cover Contest) preliminaries and finals. It was amazing to see many talented people, all of the contestants are really gorgeous. I also got the chance to see the korean boy group NOM personally, yes, for real. It was amazing, they're all so charming! Also, since many fanboys joined, it was an opportunity to search for handsome and talented and make them as inspirations. Yes, it's funny tho but most fangirls really do that "fishing" thing.

CKS PRELIMS

CKS GRAND FINALS

     At school, I'm a student-slash-fangirl. I want to talk about kpop sometimes when I get bored at school but I'm afraid no one can relate. Gladly, I found new a set of kpop friends through an interest based school organization which focuses on Korean culture appreciation -Haeng UP. During free time or after classes, we relax ourselves by watching korean dramas or variety shows and talk about funny things so that at least, we'll forget stress even for a while.

Two of my best kpop friends 

    I gained lots of friends because of kpop and I consider all of them as family, my kpop family. Communication between fangirls never dies. Even on social media, the connection is there. Fangirls may not be seeing each other always but believe me, once they get the chance to reunite, an unending expression of feels happens. Indeed, fangirl society is special. It is a special circle for fangirls wherein everyone understand each other and everyone is one in heart.

CKS PRELIMS

3 Types of Fangirls

        In the Kpop Industry, I classify fans into three different types according to how they behave, act and deal with issues inside or outside the fandom society. The said types are the Normal Fans, Callow Fans and Crazy Sasaeng Fans. 

NORMAL FANS

CALLOW FANS a.k.a IMMATURE FANS

CRAZY SASAENG FANS

    The normal fans are the ideal type of fans. They aren't troublemakers nor overly obsessed. They are the simplest and common type of fan. I consider myself as a normal fan tho. Their life is not fully centered on kpop alone but they may have other major concerns like studies, workshops, other fandoms and business. They stalk, update and spazz about kpop regulary but not too much. They are matured enough to understand showbiz issues and reacts accordingly. 

   They also like memorizing song lyrics and learning kpop dance choreography by covering a certain kpop song. They also study writing, reading and speaking Hangul in order to somehow perceive the intended meaning of what their idols or biases are trying to convey on talk shows, variety shows, dramas and music videos. Video clips showing their idols' humorous and childlike side make them gleeful too. They are also following every kpop artist's personal og group social networking accounts like facebook, twitter and instagram for them to stay updated.

  They are the cheerful and friendly type of fans. They love collecting albums and official/non-official kpop merchandise like posters, shirts and fashion accessories. They also create and read kpop or korean culture concerned blogs and fan fictions. These fans organize some get together activities for all kpop fans like anniversary celebration and celebration of the icons' birthdays. The normal fans also attend or dream to attend concerts and fan meetings while bringing some sign boards and official lightsticks. They scream and smile during the said events but not to the point of  getting wild. These fans can balance their responsibilities in their studies or jobs and their kpop interest.

My college kpop friends and I - NORMAL FANS
(taken during an EXO fan meet up at Well Hotel
Project 365: A Plethora of Happiness -EXO Cebu first Anniversary)

Another group of NORMAL FANS
(kpop concert in Japan)

   The second type of fans are the callow fans or the immature fans. These fans are the common group of bashers and suicidal fans for they take issues in a very serious and childish way. In short, they are the over acting ones. They are that sensitive fans who would hurt themselves by locking themselves in a room or by cutting their skin and worst do suicide just because of a certain issue concerning thier idols relationship status, lawsuits, attempts of leaving and common showbiz issues. They would also be deeply hurt whenever their idol got strain or hurt themselves while performing or practicing and would immediately bash the agency for not taking good care of the celebrities.

   They bash their fellow fans whom they think are luckier than them. The also create trouble by bashing new fans and other fandoms.They usually cry a lot whenever they get a chance to see their idols live like fan meetings and concerts. They even take fan fictions with earnest intent and reacts like fools. For the normal fans, they are oftenly the cause of fandom wars or misunderstandings for they interpret an affair in a without-analyzing manner and also for comparing a certain kgroup from another kgroup.

   Anyway, just like the normal ones, they also love collecting kpop merchandise too, but prefer more on the official and imported ones. They also enjoy watching their idol group's variety shows and music videos but then over reacts afterwards. I have friends who belongs to this type and I noticed that they find difficulty in balancing their school function and kpop for most of them almost failed in class but are very good in terms of updated issue about kpop.

screen captured tweets that were taken from the internet
(immature fan account)

an act of being too emotional and obsessed
(made by an immature fan)

     The last type of fans are the most interesting yet hilarious-somehow causing-anxiety fans, the sasaeng fans. They are the very obsessed ones that they even invade the privacy of their idols. They stalk too much and even follow wherever their idols go. I knew a group of sasaeng fans from Korea who would really book a flight that's the same with their idol's flight and would really spend much just to get that seat beside their idol's. They would also spend much in sending expensive fan gifts. They are hawk-eyed fans who easily see impurities and fault in their idols.

   These fans are crazy and scary. They often cause their idols' danger for they would really crash unto the latter whenever they would meet them. For normal fans, they are totally problems in the fandom. They would even set hidden cameras in their idols' dorms to create a bone of contention. They even know their idols' social security numbers and phone numbers. Their population is roughly increasing right now and that is really a head ache. 

  I've read a sasaeng fan's account and it was stated their that she would follow their private cars by taxi and would bring cameras with high definition lenses just to capture what their idols are doing. Somehow, I'm thankful to sasaengs because they are the ones who bring new updates and pictures but it is still not right. Another sasaeng fan account also showed how she was greatly affected by Luhan leaving EXO and cut her skin. There was also one sasaeng who posted that she was selling urine of a certain kpop star and claimed to have a certain idol's boxers with pubic hair. Some of them would also wait outside entertainment companies and would search for hair strands because they believed that it was their idols'. 

   These fans are really silly and major threats to the kpop artists. Instead of cheering and supporting, they are suffocating idols for their own pleasure. They would also throw under wears and condoms to their idols during concerts and fan meetings. I myself witnessed sasaeng fans who'd really rush into the airport and would cling to the idol's van or car and would shout their names in the peak of their voices. It's really annoying.

Sasaeng fans are over obsessed!

Made by a Sasaeng Fan

A Condom spotted by hawk-eyed fans during one variety show of BTS. this condom was also sent by them.

Sasaeng fans rushing in the airport and crashing towards their idols

    Fans may be different in their way of upbringing but all in all, they are still fans who share the same goal of supporting and admiring talented and charming people. Therefore, each fan deserves respect and understanding for this is the kind of life which they chose as a path.